Crap-tacular Day so far

[kikotei]

There are reasons why I shouldn't run into people I know from High School. Because with my luck I run into the guy I had the BIGGEST crush on (and still in a way do, because it was never properly resolved to my tastes) at work.

Mind you I didn't run into him. I walked past the computer stations and I recognized the back of his head. Sad yes, but I can still, after so long, recognize the back of his freakin' head.

While I was contemplating saying hi, and my boss telling me to go flirt, I wound up missing him when he walked out. I could have caught up with him if I had ran, or called out. But part of me screamed about how desparate I would look. So I turned around, when back to my desk and shook for a good long while.

Anyway, now I'm really trying hard not to think about all of it. All those feelings that I felt back then, butterflies and the lot, are back. Plus all the feelings of not being good enough, pretty enough or smart enough came rushing right back.

And all this made me miss my usual dinnertime. I'm not sure if I can eat anything.

I need a drink

Comments

[sephyelysian.livejournal.com]

It's hard when high school comes to smack you in the face. To be honest, I still have those feelings from time to time. It's the one of the worst times ever where your self-esteem takes a beating and just because you're older now doesn't mean you've worked out your issues. I don't think you were desperate and if you run into him again, there's nothing wrong with just saying hi, how are you? You don't even have to hit on him. Just see what happens.

You're not stupid though or desperate and these things happen to all of us. *hugs* Try to feel better and don't beat yourself over the head about this.

[kikotei.livejournal.com]

Thanks Sephy. ::hugs::

The whole thing probably would have gone over better for me had I not being just starting my shift, but then again being at work and not being able to just curl up in a corner and be miserable might have been the best thing for me.

I probably wouldn't feel so desperate at times like that if I didn't fit the title of the movie 'Never Been Kissed' as well as I do. ^____^

[genkisakka.livejournal.com]

::HUGS::

[kikotei.livejournal.com]

::HUGS:: Thanks Sakka-chan.

Back to work on you costume. Oh, and if you wanted to enter your ninja costume in the hall contest on Saturday we need to do some original sewing. They've got this nutso rule about the costume being made up of pieces not being store bought (for the most part) or professionally made.

That is if I ever get an answer about entering both days. Rat bastards. Maybe you ought to ask too. We'll swarm them with email. Hahahaha!