That winter syndrome thingie
Nov. 23rd, 2004 11:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kikoteiI've suddenly realized how hard I've been hit by that nasty winter depression.
I feel like I'm drowning, or there's an iron band around my chest and it's hard to breath sometimes. It's really hard to explain. I know why it hitting me harder this year than it has in the past. But there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do about it. It's not something that is within my power or wallet to fix.
Now please don't anyone take this the way it sounds, but this is a fact that I may have to put all my sharper crafting impliments away. I won't do anything like that, I never have. But I have thought about it in the past, and it scared the crap outta me. But that was years ago, and I'm not feeling like that and haven't for a while. But the suddenness of this, funk if you will, is disturbing.
Also, and this is my rampant insecurity rearing it's head, but I feel like I've pissed off most of the people I normally chat with. Rationally I know that people have lives and the holidays are looming like the giant they are, but that irrational part of me that sits at home and stares at the walls all night thinks that people hate me. It makes me feel like I'm back in high school, trying to talk to people while they ignore me and talk over me. Completely and utterly irrational, I know.
My appologies those who read through my irrational whining.
I feel like I'm drowning, or there's an iron band around my chest and it's hard to breath sometimes. It's really hard to explain. I know why it hitting me harder this year than it has in the past. But there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do about it. It's not something that is within my power or wallet to fix.
Now please don't anyone take this the way it sounds, but this is a fact that I may have to put all my sharper crafting impliments away. I won't do anything like that, I never have. But I have thought about it in the past, and it scared the crap outta me. But that was years ago, and I'm not feeling like that and haven't for a while. But the suddenness of this, funk if you will, is disturbing.
Also, and this is my rampant insecurity rearing it's head, but I feel like I've pissed off most of the people I normally chat with. Rationally I know that people have lives and the holidays are looming like the giant they are, but that irrational part of me that sits at home and stares at the walls all night thinks that people hate me. It makes me feel like I'm back in high school, trying to talk to people while they ignore me and talk over me. Completely and utterly irrational, I know.
My appologies those who read through my irrational whining.
